Eleanor McEvoy - Only A Woman's Heart

My heart is low, My heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman, as only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know

The tears that drip from my bewildered eyes
Taste of bittersweet romance
You're still in my hopes
You're still on my mind oh
And even though I manage on my own

My heart is low, My heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman, only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know

When restless eyes reveal my troubled soul
And memories flood my weary heart
I mourn for my dreams
I mourn for my wasted love
And while I know that I'll survive alone

My heart is low, My heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman, only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know

Jangan Bunuh Aku.

dan aku pun terjaga,
entah karena cekikan nafas,
atau karena air mata yang mengeras,
hingga perih mengoyak wajah.

terjaga,,
ketika malam mengarakku kedekapnya,
tercekat oleh kenyataan ta kuharap,
setelah penantian panjang ta berarah.

mengapa saling melukai,
bila sama sama saling mencintai??
mengapa menjerit dan memaksa tangis,
bila dikata cinta t'lah terpatri??

aku bukan patung,
diam ta bernyawa,
tanpa hasrat dan harapan.

aku wanitamu,
punya hati, jiwa dan nyawa,
jangan bunuh aku!!

Sungguh Ini Salah.

malam semakin pekat,
dada ini makin sesak saja,
diam ini menyayat jiwa,
merusak harapan yang susah payah kujaga.

aku dengar hujan enggan bicara,
angin juga tiada menyapa,
hanya ada sepi dan dingin yang kelam merayap.

sungguh ini salah!!
bukankah kita sedang berdua??
biasanya kita sedang merangkai asa,
berjanji menembus badai bersama,
mengapa kini hanya ada senyap??

huff,,

AnakNya.

Tuhan pasti sedang berduka,
anakNya hilang,
berkelana jauh dan tersesat.

Tuhan pasti sedang menangis,
kecintaanNya memeluk sepi,
seolah Dia ta ada di sisi.

Tuhan pasti sedang meratap,
ingin anakNya pulang,
diam dalam pelukan.

Seolah Mengerti.

seolah mengerti,
langit kirimkan hujan,
usir sepi,
sepi,, di tengah hingar bingar.

alunan berdentum,
telinga pekak,
bahasa bahasa asing,
menusuk dada.

aku hilang,
menghilang dan terhilang ditelan masa,
ketika air mata sudah biasa,
maka diam adalah pilihan yang tersisa.

seolah mengerti,
langit kirimkan hujan,
biar sejuk damai,
mungkin logika bisa paksa hati tuk mereda.

An Amazing Song.

Lagu lama yang sudah amat sangat umum, but its still and always amazed me. :)
(amazing grace w/ lyric)

-- Amazing Grace --

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.

And Grace, my fears relieved.

How precious did that Grace appear

The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come;

'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far

and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.

His word my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease,

I shall possess within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years,

Bright shining as the sun.

We've no less days to sing God's praise

Than when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

So What??!!

Yup. My life was messed up. I was a bullying victim. I was very poor and hitted and etc since i was 2 years old. :(

When I grew up, aku tidak menjalani jalan yang ingin kujalani (--ngerti kan??--). Life pushed me to be strong. I live on my own in my entire life. Not alone, but totally lonely.

I found my bestiest ever (not much, but means a lot to me!!), but they seems couldn't stay forever with me. Suddenly lost their love and passion. I'd rearrange my mariage, still don't know till when. And I really don't wanna talk about it right know.

Then I left my great job* (people say so), right before i knew that my daddy wasn't my daddy. Then the real one came up with so many shit that hurt me a lot. (Pls don't use social media for trying to embarassed me!! U already did it without doing nothing.).

Huff.

Hidupku super kacau, so what??!! Apakah aku harus malu?? Nope. I'm proud that I still alive, even on my own. I'm glad to feel all this feeling and still survive. I will. Aku akan baik-baik saja. For sure.

,,,,,

I'm totally fine, but desperatelly missing u. :(